I’ve been here long enough now to have observed many prisoners and I can conclude that prisoners morph into one of 3 categories – the giddy, the frowners and the downers. I’d like to tell you more about that, today.

I think that about 20% of prisoners like it here – the giddy. They develop a giddiness, laugh and joke and seem to find day to day life inside pretty easy. I find this group the hardest to understand because I can’t comprehend how anyone could like it in prison but they do. They enjoy a humour that can build up, openly giggle in a really immature way and interact with other men in a manner which is often sexual or at least overly touchy-feely.

I’ve spoken to many of the giddy and they say the sort of thing that even the Mail on Sunday wouldn’t print. “It’s great in here” is so often heard along with “There’s nae bills to pay”, “you get given 3 meals a day” and “You get a TV and a bed, what else do you want?” When some of the giddy are approaching liberation, they even say that they don’t want to get out because “you get given everything you need in prison.”

Then there are the frowners and maybe about 70% of prisoners fall into this group. They react to incarceration over time to develop an aggressive sadness. They have an almost permanent frown and this seems to affect every one of their mannerisms, having built up strong barriers and they appear very aware, albeit subconsciously, of their weakness. They are super-sensitive about being criticised and react very robustly.

The frowners congregate together and their talk revolves around delusional complaints as if they enjoy whinging or things going wrong so that they have something to complain about. In reality, of course, they don’t ever fill out complaint forms. After all, that could risk the issue being resolved and they could no longer complain about it.

The final group I’ve observed are the downers and represent the remaining 10%. These people are the most worrying because they are the ones who are being psychologically harmed by prison. We have all seen the adverts for the RSPCA where an animal has been mistreated so much that they cower into a corner. They’ve given up, their emotional strength has been worn away by their treatment – that is how the downers feel in prison. The constancy of being shouted and sworn at by staff, the frequent system failures and the total incompetence of the prison all take their toll on the downers.

People in this category tend to be more intelligent and from a higher socio-economic group than the giddy or the frowners. They have expectations built from a lifetime of working in more professional roles and they think they know how things should work. They know about inspection criteria and professional competence and as a result, they know that prisons are badly run, staff are frequently unlawful and that the notion that prisons care about rehabilitation is a sick joke.

I wonder how you would react if you were imprisoned and then think about how you would react if you were wrongfully imprisoned because don’t forget that not everyone in prison c omitted a crime. There are an unknown number of people who are behind bars having committed no crime and that is a disgrace.

NaN.