Today is one of my favourite days – Burns’ night (although I still haven’t really figured out why it’s Burns’ Night rather than Burns’ Day). For me, it is such an important day because ti brings together the wider cultural aspects of this great country so I can regard it as richer than St Andrew’s Day.

Let me share with you the extensive activities that we have on today. Erm… Hmm… Well, actually, it is bugger all. Nothing. Diddly squat. There is no recognition of it and when I asked the guys in here, the vast majority of them had no idea about it.

One guy said, “Oh, is it that Edinburgh thing?” which, unwittingly, demonstrated some understanding of the origins of the way we celebrate our national bard.. A few of the more educated guys have been to Burns’ suppers but they didn’t know that today is Burns’ Night.

The problems seems to be that everyone claims to be a proud Scot but when I ask them: “So, what is it that you are proud of?”, they have difficulty giving an answer. I suspect that they have a tribal loyalty to where they were born but that they aren’t actually proud of Scotland as a culture. I suspect that if they had been born in Bradford, they’d be a “proud” Englishman and probably a member of Tommy Robinson’s gang.

Personally, I am proud to be able to contribute to the culture of Scotland. I was born here but I chose to stay here. I could have moved to England or Germany or even America (okay, maybe not) but I made an active decision to stay here and contribute.

And maybe that’s the issue – people in here don’t know how to contribute. They are a drain on society and rather than giving to a community, they take from it. They can’t have an understanding of culture because the arts, in its widest sense, requires a net loss attitude because you, as an individual, get out less than you put in.

I accept that, as do my fellow cultural contributors, and don’t worry that my poems take a huge amount of effort but that I “get” very little in return. Because when I’m performing my address to the haggis at a Burns’ supper, the collective energy that oozes from the room is the result of hundreds of thousands of cultural warriors over decades contributing to what it is to be Scottish.

It is so special to be Scottish. It is’t merely an accident of birth geography, it is an energy of genuine cultural (rather than tribal) pride that touches the soul.

So tonight I’ll be plunging in my plastic, prison knife into my crappy hot dog and celebrate what it is to be proudly Scottish.

NaN.