Okay, I admit it: I do love New Country music. I blame Eric Church and Striking Matches, both of whom I’ve seen live and both are outstanding. I’ve also had a huge respect for Taylor Swift over the years because, despite her crossover appeal, she’s retained her country roots in the way Shania Twain couldn’t quite manage.

This brings me onto the goddaughter of the most famous country musician ever. At least I think it does because this morning, I woke up with the most annoying of earworms – the half-earworm.

I am pretty confident that it was Miley Cyrus who sang Tightrope [Michelle Williams, I believe – #6] although, to be fair, I’m only vaguely confident the song is called Tightrope. That’s the problem with half-earworms but it does afford me a higher degree of artistic licence which is nice.

So in this song, Miley (probably) uses the metaphor of a tightrope to describe life and I think that’s what resonates with me right now. After last week when I wasn’t feeling very happy at all (sorry about that again) I have been trying to pull myself together but I think a tightrope is a fantastic metaphor for life inside.

I’ve actually never been on a tightrope but I’ve done some slacklining which is kind of similar. In here, though, everything is a tightrope. On toptoes. With nasty people throwing things at me all the time.

Take complaining, for example. If you complain about something, you are hostile to authority. If you don’t complain, you’re failing to take responsibility and show poor moral judgement. Or if you talk to other prisoners in a friendly manner, you are forming criminal networks and if you don’t then you’re unable to function in social groups.

We are all expected to fit into a narrative which has already been written and, to be truthful, many guys in here do fit into that narrative. However, there are some who don’t and that’s where the problems come. Valuing education, avoiding drugs, being assertive but not aggressive, having intelligence, knowing the prison rules, support on the outside and the worst of them all – wrongly convicted. These are all huge problems and mean you don’t fit into the narrative and this makes things very difficult indeed.

So I’m on this tightrope and struggling not to fall off and land in depression or institutionalism or metamorphose into a criminal or personality change or hostility or irresponsibility. I want to stay up here being calm, having patience, showing virtue, developing understanding but it is so very tough and I am not surprised that most people leave prisons worse than when they arrived. It’s a shameful situation about which no-one cares.

Now I need to go and call my cousin and find out if Miley Cyrus really did sing that song…

NaN.