Oh my absolute lordy, how much whinging and whining can the do?? I think scientists are tackling the climate crisis wrongly – they should be working out ways to convert prisoner whinging into electricity because it’s never ending. It could be a bottomless source of power!

“Exercise is too short”, “Exercise is too long”, “There aren’t enough jobs”, “They’re making me work”, “The showers are too cold”, “The TVs don’t have enough channels”, “Why can’t we order takeaways” it just goes on and on. In my hmble opinion, 90^ is just garbage and if at the LA Olympics a new sport of “Whinging” appears, prisoners should definitely form a team.

Whenever people whinge, I try to use all of m Scooby powers to ignore it but when I can ignore it no longer, I blurt out “Well do something about it then!” That, however, tends not to help matters because I’ve become trapped in the conversation.

My point is quite simple (though clearly not simple enough for the imbeciles in the exercise yard) – if it’s worth complaining about then complain about it properly to the correct people and if it’s not worth complaining about then quit your moaning!

There is a system in place called PCF – Prisoner Complaint Form and it is a super easy process. This is how it works. First stage: We complete a PCF1 or 2 depending on the complaint and hand it in. Second stage: a manager comes to us and says “No”. Third stage: we progress to ICC (internal complaints committee) and if there is a rule or regulation to support our complaint they say “Yes”, otherwise they say “No”. It really is that simple.

There is a fourth stage, the SPSO, but that is a bit of a black hole time-wise but if it’s worth it then it’s worth it.

Of course, most prisoners are just full of bluster and although loads of them say that they “CP’d it”, it’s very clear that they haven’t so I guess they just like to whinge and moan.

I have to say, though, I was alarmed to hear a guard talking to a prisoner about a complaint that a different prisoner had put in. It seemed a blatant breach of confidentiality to me and that sort of thing can be very dangerous in this tinderbox.

So I guess my message today is pretty obvious: stop bloomin’ whinging and do something about it!

NaN.