Prison gyms – the setting for many of the scenes in prison-based films and TV programmes. Rough, tough, mean but is the reality really all that rough, tough and mean?

As a general rule, everywhere in prison is overflowing with sadness and despair. Sure, there are pockets of positivity – for example the guys with kids when they can spend time playing with them or at Christmas if there is a good preacher in the church. However, the vast majority of prison life is just miserable.

The prison gym, I’m afraid to say, is no different. It is not a dramatic place, it isn’t rough, tough or mean. It’s just a place where some guys got to work out but I would guess that only maybe 30% of the guys go there for that reason. I think the majority of prisoners go there simply to get out of their cell.

Part of me wants to write a piece of fiction about a big guy with the nickname “Bubba” who rules the gym with an iron fist and his henchmen called J, Donkey and Knuckles. I could write about how the screws are scared of him and about how many fights happen but that isn’t the reality.

I have never even seen an argument in the gym, never mind a fight. The biggest conflict I’ve seen is when the water from one shower cubicle flowed into another because the drain was blocked and, even then, it only illicited a “For f***s sake!”

Most guys float around without aim or goal. I guess they either don’t know what to do or they don’t want to work. The staff don’t care, either. They’re called PTIs but they do very little instructing.

I saw a guy ask one of the PTIs for help once and the reply was “Well what the f**k do you want to do?” Not exactly the most helpful response.

Of course some people do work. Some guys crave PT and that’s what’s keeping them going. They hit the weights hard and take the protein and build their muscles. They want to get big, strong and intimidating. They take the opportunity to look mean and tough – I’ll let you draw your own conclusions about convicted criminals wanting to look mean and tough.

Some guys quietly go about being as healthy as they can. So they run, do a bit of cycling, some floor work and then do a bit of weight work. To be fair to them, that’s probably a good, balanced approach to the gym. However, their progress is hampered by the poor maintenance. So much of the equipment is broken and things like emergency stop buttons and safety barriers are not there. It’s quite frankly laughable that some red and white hazard tape could prevent a full stack of weights falling on someone.

But for the 70% it is another desperate waste of time which maybe sums up prison.

Even for the other 30%, though, this is not rehabilitative. It is not transforming our lives or unlocking our potential. At best it is paying lip service to health and fitness because, without healthy eating options, it is largely pointless. At worse, however, it is reinforcing the negatives and other factors which contributed to offending in the first place.

Like every other aspect of prison, it could be so good but it is not.

NaN.