I have never really understood the finer details of economics. Sure, I get what interest and tax mean and more recently I’ve begun to get the hang of what inflation means. However, I have never developed a group of how the various financial levers can be manipulated to produce an outcome.

Actually, I don’t think I’m alone with this; judging from the mess that many economies are in around the world, it seems most people (including our elected representatives) are in the dark. However, I have discovered the best University of Economics – a prison!

A society with a functioning economy has relative values established and there is a system of trading in place. Most communities have some sort of money or, at least, tokens which represent “worth” but an economy is agile and responsive with an almost constant movement based on supply and demand.

One of the problems with the outside world is that the layers of dealers, wholesalers and retailers obscure the supply and their high budget marketing departments create and drive demand. In prison, however, there are none of these factors so it lays bare a system.

Let me give you some examples. Kiwi fruit used to be like hens’ teeth in here and their relative value was very high but suddenly we were flooded with the bloomin’ things so their value plummeted… until people started to tasted them and we realised they were horrible so they suddenly had no value at all!

Another example – big bars of Galaxy chocolate. They were available in the canteen so there was a monetary value set but then, for some unfathomable reason, they were taken off the canteen so their relative value shot up because demand was growing and supply was very limited.

On the other side, “money” does not exist in here so you pay for things using other things which they themselves have a fluctuating relative value. Right now a snickers bar costs ten pears, a tiny bottle of Irn Bru costs a second class stamp and a yoghurt costs a packet of pods (3 vape refills).

Allow me also to mention that there is a roaring trade in prescription medication as well as illegal items and also that bullying is rife in here. So everything all together creates a very complicated economic society which, oddly, functions very well.

This is why I’d like to invite our financial leaders to spend a month with me to develop and understanding of the intricacies of economics. You never know, maybe they’ll make better decisions afterwards!

Right, I must ays. I’ve got a packet of hula hoops that I “bought” with a bottle of washing up liquid and I need to trade them for a roll of soft toilet paper! What a bizarre world I am in!

NaN.